Today I was having a difficult day.I was feeling upset.I was also feeling some little hope left.I did not want to lose my faith.I always know without faith I am lost.With daddy’s Alzheimer's I get dissapointed.I basically can not control my emotions.Every time I see him getting confused,different than before It breaks my heart but It is a life challange ...I could not change the situation ,I could not make him better.I can not make miracles happen.I should stop thinking about his healthy days.I should stop comparing the old beautiful days which we used to cheerish with him.
I already made an important move in my life by moving back with my mummy and daddy in order to help him anytime I can.I wish I could make things better for him.I love him.I always loved him a lot.
He had given me a wonderful life,I was his spoiled little girl.I was wondering around ,thinking what subject I should write to my blog.I wanted to talk about Alzheimer (Dementia).What does this word mean ?When he was diagnosed for the first time,I had more idea about HIV than Dementia.I did not have any relative or a loved one with the same illness.It was new for me.It was new for my sisters and brother.In the begining he was not so bad.He was able to walk,go to toilet,dress himself,shave himself.Then in months,stages of seeing him losing everyday activities made me feel extremly unhappy.I read about the illness.I never shared my feelings with anyone.As I did not want to make my family members upset.At the end I am a strong looking woman however deep inside I am very emotional ,I never show my emotions.
Therefore today I want to write some of my experiences with you.If any of you is having some up and downs by looking after an Alzheimer parent I wanted to be a hope.At least if you are just learning the illness .
So again what does Alzheimer mean ?
Dementia (taken from Latin) originally meaning madness, from de- (without) + ment, the root of mens (mind) is a serious loss of global cognitive ability in a previously unimpaired person, beyond what might be expected from normal ageing. It may be static, the result of a unique global brain injury, or progressive, resulting in long-term decline due to damage or disease in the body. Although dementia is far more common in the geriatric population, it can occur before the age of 65, in which case it is termed "early onset dementia".
Dementia is not a single disease, but a non-specific illness syndrome (i.e., set of signs and symptoms). Affected cognitive areas can be memory, attention, language, and problem solving. Normally, symptoms must be present for at least six months to support a diagnosis.( From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia )
I first time read about the word dementia in Wikipedia.It was the start journey for a tough road.Everyday was surprisingly variable.I would like to make some little do and do not list for you all .
It maybe a help.Again if you feel lonely about the situation,can not cope you are free to drop me a line anytime.I would love to listen ..
You are watching your beloved mother , father or wife husband turn into a new person.You get so frustrated.You feel your beloved one has taken away and you are given a new stranger.It is a confusing moment.Do not feel emotional in this point,make sure you repeat yourself he has dementia,its his illness.He is learning again.He is new born and you are there to teach,love and guide him.
He/She can not find the toilet,he has to wear nappies.You are feeling down about it because how can your mummy,strong daddy wet himself.How can he not find the toilet ?At first you can help him clean himself,change his nappies.However once it repeats and repeats it gets more dissapointing. You watch him sitting with a wet track suit.He is not aware he had wet track suit.He is not aware he had wet himself.Suddenly you feel so angry about life,the challenge why the hell you had to see him likethat.Do not get angry,unhappy.Say to yourself it is his illness.His mind and brain functions do not work like a healthy person.He wets himself.Remember he is born recently,he is a baby.
He needs to take tablets. He has forgotten to swallow.He is not able to drink water and swallow tablets at the same time.You are stressed out .You wonder how you will make him take the tablets.You will have to crush the tablets. There is also tablet crushers which are in sale. You can buy it from pharmacies. You can mix the crushed tablets with yogurt and try to feed him like a baby again.
You want to take him out however he is aggressive,confused and complains about it.It is very important to give him fresh air.If you have a wheel chair it is great .Even he complains,take him out at least twice a week to have some sight seeing.They usually do not like to change the enviroment.They do not feel safe if they change their daily place.But it is extremly important they get enough oxgyen it is good for their brain.
You try to dress him carefully. He is not making any efford. You basically need to dress him again like a baby. Well you need to dress him,slowly and patiently.I usually talk to my daddy while dressing him.Do not rush the dressing up and morning washes.Their brain and mind works slowly.They do not like water.Explain each step .For example: Daddy this is a nice top,you will look nice on it.Today I think you can wear it. You will look nice on it.If it is the middle stage of the illness he may join the conversation or if he is doing well,he will be normal .The next day he will be a completely stranger again.I believe patience is the key .
He will not remember if you ask him questions which are from near past.He will not remember what he had for lunch.But he will remember what he was eating twenty years ago.Make sure you talk,play games (brain games ),read to him,watch tv,play music etc.I personally make my daddy involved with anything which I do.I say to him,daddy I am going to cook now.I am going to lay the table.It helps him to stop wonder around.As they wonder around a lot and get confused.
I wish I could be more helpful to all Alzheimer patients and carers.It is not easy.You need to modify the home , the safety for the patient.Please read about the illness.Do not think this is a curse from God.There is always a reason for something.You can never understand why an African poor child was born and then dies from hunger.It is life.Some of us need to cross some paths,some of us need to smooth the ways.It is a time of hell,it is upsetting.It is destroying.Please talk to people with the same fate.
O God of love,
hear our prayer
for all who suffer from Alzheimer’s.
In the days of changing memory,
be with them in their fears.
In the days when memory has gone,
bless their families who suffer.
Surround them with tender love
from family, friend, and stranger.
Grant them peace in their hearts,
a secure home environment,
and dignity in their lives.
May each day bring a blessing,
hope, and greater love.
Amen.
