Silence of Joy

It is a rainy day today.Bielefeld(Germany) had the longest winter.Birds are singing as usual on my backyard.I am enjoying my silence , my own company.I dont know why but my space is very important.I am a social person but when it comes to my home enviroment I love my own company.Maybe it has been a while I was not alone ...

Norah Jones playing on the radio "Come Away With Me " https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KvcV7664gy8

I love this song.Piano sounds extra ordinary.I miss playing piano , and singing I have realised it.
I am doing some home demos ,of course I will sing back eventually ...(without piano )

I cant stop thinking about him.I sleep,dream,fear,twist and turn and my mind is back to him.

I am blessed to have these feelings after a very long time .Really after long years of only rushing around, it is great to get some dreams together.

I did not write to my blog,I need to take some off from myself.Now I feel much better.

I keep my life very simple nowdays.I go to gym ,work 20 hours a week ,visit daddy,go out for dinner.
I am not sure if I want marriage,I just want a good communication,some candle lights on dinner ,some wine ...I want trust and confidence.I do not need a peace of paper ,telling me there you go you will be with him ,forever,this idea freaks me out and I fear.

Therefore if any one coming to my life's path are travellers like me,I do not want any life partner to feel he is hooked up as I am not a type to hook.

I am reading a lot ,too.There has been a Gezi Park Occupy movement in back home.It was lovely to see youth screaming for Mustafa Kemal Atatürk whom is the greatest leader in the world ,giving women rights in an Islamic Country.

I am not a politics person. I prefer to read on nature,self wisdom,climate change,poverty,economics,construction,green building materials etc.When I start following up these political issues ,I get bitter.At the end the day,the most important issue in this world must me peace and life.I dont think no natioan has the right to kill and murder .Thats why I am against Nuclear Powers ,chemicals ,guns etc.If I hear war news,I get sad.I also get sad when I hear poverty.I have seen with my own eyes how horrible is to live in Africa.However it is a beautiful continent .It may be the prettist continent in the World.

One of my favourite phrase How well we have lived ,how well we have loved ,how well we have learned to let go  Jack Kornfield.

 Once you can not feed yourself with love and wisdom,I do not think that person is entitled to really share a happy and healthy relationship with his partner.I can be wrong but insecure person can not love fullfilly because he would be bitter,angry ,frastrated.Single being love,self love is the most important issue with personal wisdom ,a man with no self love means no man to me.

Of course dreams and vision of love is for free and you should be loving every single moment and thing ..The more you water you self love ,the more it keeps its roots in you by flowering every single second in joy and silence...

Be in love ,forgive & forget ...



Peace & LOVE